I sit up in my bunk bed, bottom level, in my very first dorm room. I hear crying and look over to see my roommate (let’s call her Z) sitting on the floor. She is bawling because her poster of a vampire girl that she had hung on the back of our door has been cut into seven pieces. The pieces are laid out on the floor. Realizing that I am awake, she stands up. “You did this,” she says angrily, and she takes a step toward me.
Before I can react, an entire baseball team barges into our room and surrounds Z. They hold out their arms as if to grab her. From nowhere Z brandishes ten very long needles, five in each hand. “Stand back!” she yells. Their mouths hang open in shock and the baseball players are backed into the far side of the room, all nine of them squashed between our desks and up against the window.
As if taken over by some strange compulsion, all nine baseball players stick out their tongues simultaneously. Their tongues begin wagging violently outside of their mouths, saliva dripping and lips twitching.
Z seems just as nonplussed as I am. Then, in an absurd act of defiance, she begins fumbling at her trouser zipper. “You can’t phase me!” she cries just before she drops her pants, bends over, and gives everyone a view of her full, fleshy, full moon butt.
The baseball team is so startled that Z’s butt blows their brains. I mean this literally. Their brains actually explode with a bright light. It’s so bright that it hurts. I close my eyes. There’s no sound. After a moment, I open my eyes again and find myself in my bunk bed in the middle of a rice field.
The kanji: 七 九 十 口 日 月 田 目
[Note] I knew all the kanji in this first grouping, including these ones. But I made a palace anyway though for a couple reasons. Firstly, I felt it’d be good practice using familiar kanji in an incredibly new mnemonic that I’ve never really used before. Also, I was not aware of the alternative meanings (known as “primitives”) of some of the kanji, so I placed them in this palace to memorize those.